The last four years have been made up of all the emotions that someone could have, but in the end I have been very blessed. It is always strange to say goodbye to one season and welcome another. Some seasons are not as bright as others. Some are painful, hard, lonely, sad, angry, etc. Even the bright seasons come with their many challenges. Today I call myself a college graduate! I hope that what's next is a season full of challenges. I beg for them really, because I know through perseverance comes the testing of my faith. The testing will show my true blood. Will I bleed Christ or will I bleed only my insufficient flesh? I will be the first to admit that I cried yesterday as I packed up four years and said goodbye. A World race teammate thankfully reminded me this week that there is a time for everything. There is a season for everything.
I will always remember this season as the one in which…
I went to a school I knew one person at and left with a number of very close friends.
The friends I would do ministry with for four years would be the same friends that randomly helped me move
my stuff into the square box that would be my home for a year and a half.
I got to be apart of a ministry start up for middle school kids in the area called WyldLife.
I found the greatest friends one could ever have, who pushed me to put my faith in Christ alone.
I became independent, but closer to my parents than I ever have been.
I experienced heartbreak, but also the mending of my heart.
I completed four years of school and stuck with it even through the millions of thoughts of being a failure.
I became a bit more spontaneous.
I was challenged.
Learned it’s okay to tell people how you really are feeling.
Went hiking in Wyoming with just one friend, a pack, and some food.
Went caving for the first time and sang old hymns in the cave with all the lights out recognizing that Christ is still present when there is nothing/ was nothing.
Swam underneath a few waterfalls.
Ran a few half marathons.
Worked in Colorado for a month one summer.
Took a few vacations to the beach with friends who can never be replaced.
I could write for hours about the past four years, but never be able to do them justice. My heart is filled with so much joy as I have sat down to write about the season that I am exiting. I keep getting the question, so how does it feel? Truthfully I feel no different than yesterday or the day before that, but it has made the season that I am entering became more tangible. I leave in thirteen days to spend a week with my teammates, embracing many of them for the first time. I remember well the seed that was planted in my head about doing the World Race. I had no idea that time would fly by so fast and that I would be leaving before I knew it. Change is good and it’s okay to look back and think, how could life be more blessed than it has been? God requires change though. He requires that we give all to him and that is what I am prepared to do in this season and every season to come. I am not scared of what is to come because I have an amazing creator who walks with me and in me the whole time I am here on this earth.
I Just want to say thank you to those who are supporting me in the next season of my life and thank you to those who have supported me already through seasons in the past.
I have been very blessed over the past few months to meet five of my WR teammates and I already consider them family. I don't even go one day any more without talking to one of them on Skype or over the phone. I thought it fitting to write a blog about the blessing they all are to me and how when I am with them I laugh a ton and smile till my cheeks feel as if they are going to fall off. Each one of my 66 new family members brings a unique gift to the table but we all ultimately have the same goal in mind--to make much of God. We heard the voice of the Lord saying "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" Isaiah 6:8. Like Isaiah we have all answered the call by saying, "Here am I. Send me!" I am overjoyed because my brothers and sisters continue to point me towards the Lord which is exactly where my focus must be. As I focus more on Lord I realize exactly how broken I am and how desperately I need Him every single day.
The biggest reason I wanted to write this blog is to ask that you guys pray for my new God given family. Here are three things you can pray...
1. We are United
U.nit.ed (adj.): 1. Combined into one entity 2. Concerned with, produced by, or resulting from mutual action 3. Being in harmony; agreed
Me & JT
2. We are Strong
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Krystyna and I
3.We spend it all on Him
I offer up my mind to You, I long for the truth You know
I offer up my feet to You, they’ll walk straight on the path You show
I offer up my time to You, so keep me and hold me still
I offer up my hands to You, Lord use them to do Your will
Let Your Spirit take me over God,
Cause it’s all I’ll ever need, yeah You’re all I’ll ever need Lord
Receive this life an offering God
Cause I’ve spent it all on You
-Ascend the Hill
me & Gabe
Thanks guys for your support and prayers throughout this process for me and my family.
Lately my heart has been stirring for the countries I am about to move too. When I typed that my heart skipped a beat. It is funny how God prepares you for things little by little--teaching you, molding you for just one step forward. It's crazy because each of those steps we take, one by one, are already laid out for us. God is in the present. God is in the past, yet also still very much in the future. This should rid us of some of the burdensome thoughts that we carry and help us to walk ever faster into the new beginnings God has created.
Are you willing to step forward?
I know that this has always been a hard question for me to answer. Let me make something clear, when I say step forward I mean are you willing to walk obediently forward giving God the glory, knowing that He has the reigns to your life? God continues to lay on my heart a verse from Luke 12. It keeps replaying over and over in my head like that annoying song you can't seem to get out.
"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."
He has given me much more than can ever be repaid so I figure much is demanded of me. He has also entrusted me with much, so again I figure He will ask much more of me. Earlier I mentioned how God was stirring in my life and how he is preparing me now for things that I can not do on my own. He is preparing in me the courage and the boldness to take a step. Much is demanded and much is asked of me. Honestly, the verse is just a reminder to me of how blessed I am threw Christ and it moves me into obedience, so unlike that annoying song on repeat in your head I am pleased to have this verse setting off a reaction down in my muscles to MOVE.
Recently I had to work a bunch at a hospital in Nashville. Every morning while I was going into work I would have to walk about 2 blocks from the parking garage students were required to park. I was also required to be on the floor 30 minutes before my shift actually began so that I could receive report from the previous nurse. Each morning I would have to arrive very early just to make it in time; however, I was not the only one out there on those streets in the early cold morning air. There were of course the other nurses going to and coming from work, but one person in particular struck a cord in my heart. There was one man who stood out on a corner I had to pass every morning on my way into work. He was selling the papers that are notoriously known to be sold for the homeless community. The first day I passed him I tried my very hardest to not make eye contact because I knew if I made eye contact... MUCH WOULD BE ASKED OF ME. The next time I passed him this thought came out of no where. It was that I was suppose to speak to this guy. WHAT? ME? I never talk to people on the streets that I don't know especially those I figure to be homeless. Even though in my heart I knew I was suppose to talk to him all I could muster was "Good Morning." I just kept on walking right passed what God had asked of me. This happened a few more mornings. Then one morning I decided that I was going to pray as I walked in this man's direction. I prayed that this man would reach out to me. I prayed he would talk to me first. First of all who does that? I guess I do (HA). Anyways as I was praying that prayer and walking passed him all of sudden out of no where he says to me, "You know I am selling this paper. I wanted you to know that for the next two weeks I will actually have an article and a piece of my artwork in the paper." I was amazed. Speechless really. Why had this man done that. For three weeks I had passed him and we had exchanged no words other than a friendly hello but this time when I prayed for this man to speak he did. WHAT? I am still blown away by this. We did not have much of conversation that day but it was just one step forward. i knew that the next time I passed him would be the last time I would be working at this hospital and I was still very sure that God had called me to speak to this man. As I drove to work for my last shift, fear swept over me. I am not always good with my words, but God kept reminding me that He just asks me to speak. I was already running late and I had decided in my head as I was driving into work that I did not have time to talk to him. God works in funny ways because as I was saying, "I am not speaking to this guy," the song Courageous by Casting Crowns came on. I just prayed this song over what I knew God was calling of me.
We were made to be courageous. We were made to lead the way. We could be the generation that finally breaks these chains.... LORD MAKE ME COURAGEOUS!
As I approached the man on the street I wish I could say that I was not afraid of what I was about to do or I wish I could say I knew what I was going to say. I just knew that God had called me into obedience and I did not want to walk past this man any longer. I stopped and began asking the man about himself, about the paper he was selling, and finally about what he believed. This man in fact was homeless and somehow he remained faithful to the Lord threw it all. He told me to go read his article because it explained his faith in the Lord even when he had so much sorrow. I was able to pray for this man and all the while glorify God not because I had spoken but just because He is God.
This man was apart of my training for the 11 months I will gone. God was just asking me speak, to be obedient, to take a step.
My world race mates have informed me that part of the ministry we might be asked to do is going door to door or evangelizing on the streets. I don't think it is a coincidence that I was called to speak to this homeless man.
LORD MAKE US COURAGEOUS!!!!
If you have read this would you pray for my teammates and I that we would be willing to take a step, to speak, knowing that we do not get the glory but instead our father in heaven will be glorified. Pray also that we open our eyes to the Lord teaching and molding us daily.
You guys are the bomb! Hope to write to you again soon!
PS. Fundraising update $6,300 meaning I still have $9,200 to go. If you would like to support me just click on support me tab on the left top corner of this page. Anything and everything helps even if its $10 dollars.
One of my teammates encouraged us to write 100 things about us. I hope some of this tells you a lot about me, while others tell you nothing more than I love to laugh and that I hope I make others laugh as well. Here you go, I hope you enjoy!
I am a Christ follower
I love peanut butter
I have two older brothers who I love
I have two older brothers that I sometimes love to hate: Growing up they broke my arm by carrying me up the stairs. One had my legs and the other my arms and somehow one of them broke.
I am a mamma’s girl -sorry dad somewhere along the way it flipped but I still love you dearly
I played soccer for 16 years. Started at the age of 3
I got the chance to go to Europe for free for 12 days with my travel team one year because we raised enough money for the trip.
I hate fish
I LOVE/ am addicted to Coffee
Find myself saying Guatemala in a weird accent every time I say it because of the trip I took there last spring break
Wish I could speak Spanish so next time when I want to ask for more cement I don’t ask for more death.
I am a young life leader
I am a nursing student
In high school I might or might not have played girls rugby. My best friend’s father coaches the rugby team and decided he wanted to start a girls team and insisted that all the soccer girls play so there I was playing rugby (A guys sport if you ask me ha)
If I am not laughing or smiling I am either really tired, really upset or am not doing something I am passionate about
Quiet times and times in scripture are my favorite
I was born and raised in Nashville Tennessee
Ephesians 3:20-21 is where it is at
GOD CAN DO MORE THAN WE EVER IMAGINE
God is always reminding me that His way is better than my way
I love to hike
I took my first overnight backcountry backpacking trip this past summer in Wyoming
I did swim team one year during high school and I was the girl who would do my flip turns and run into the lane lines..WOOPS
I would someday love to adopt a child or more than one Lord willing
I love the thought of living in Colorado for at least one year. My family kinda wants me to move there so they can come visit
I want to learn to play the guitar
Nicknames: BP, Becs, Becca, booboo, beccaboo (longer than my full name)
I have run 5 half marathons but have yet to run a full
I am a people person
We used to have a sonic ice machine in our house because of my dad’s job
I love to read/ learn
My dad tells me that I fight other people’s battles. This can get me into trouble especially if I tried to defend my brothers against my parents.
I think gross stuff is cool (like blood/ wounds)
I have trouble sleeping if there is a full moon. Not sure what this means J
I love to smile so big that it hurts and laugh so hard that I become exhausted
I would take the mountains over a beach any day
Diet Coke taste like dessert to me
I had a group of 12 friends in high school and we called ourselves the dirty dozen
Windy Gap North Carolina is my favorite place on this earth.
I love all things Mumford, Drew and Ellie Holcomb, and Elenowen
I am a folk music kind of girl
I sometimes say words in a northern accent even though I have always lived in the south
I have only been to 19 out of the 50 states
I love surprises
My love language is quality time
The man I want to marry is still out there somewhere
Even though I am in nursing school I really don’t feel called to work in a hospital (good thing there are so many different options for nurses)
I love the school supply section in stores with a school supply section
I love to highlight things
My favorite color is most shades of green
I truly believe I have the greatest friends that anyone could have
Even though I live in Nashville, the country music city, I don’t really like country music
Apparently I used to love Freddie Prince Jr. because I found my Gameboy case from way back when and found that I had written “I love Freddie Prince Jr.” on it.
I can't/ don’t think I ever will be able to spell
I dip Hershey chocolate bars in peanut butter instead of buying Reese’s –learned this from my mom
I like old people. They are so wise!
My favorite movie is the Patriot
I can’t cook and don’t clean all that well –sorry to my future husband
I never had the chicken pox
I love red hair even though I am a brunette
It has taken me over 61 minutes to think of this many things about myself
I fear speaking in a microphone more than I fear public speaking
I get motion sickness when at sea
I hated roller coasters but now love them
I love anything with cheese on it
I hate needles but love giving shots
I have wanted to go to New Zealand ever since I found out that was where The Lord of the Rings was filmed
I love road trips
I have no allergies
I wish i was allergic to fish
I wish I had to wear glasses because I think they are cute
I love Jenny Cleckner –everyone needs to have a Mama C.
I don’t exactly know my plans post world race
I am having trouble coming up with more things to say about myself so the Girl sitting beside me in class is helping me out
Yes, I am in class. Sorry mom!
My friend Tess says “HELLO”
I wish boys liked pony tails and buns and truly liked girls without makeup
That last one probably makes me seem like a boy hater but I am not
I like to dress comfy 99% of the time and 1% of time I like to have a reason to dress up
I love to worship the Lord
I would rather be born with an elephant trunk than a giraffe neck
I don’t like the word fart but the other options for this word are not my favorite either like toot, fluff etc
I chipped part of my bone in my left ankle and didn’t even know it
I sang Part of that World from the Little Mermaid for my speech finale in college.
I can’t sing
Yes I got an A
I had a 4.0 when I applied to nursing school now I have a 3.5 (woops)
I like saying woops
I like saying yea, yea, yea when I am letting people know I am still listening to them or when I am agreeing with them
I went to 3 backstreet boy concerts when I was younger
Backstreet > NSYNC
The first concert I ever went to was Spice Girls
I wanted to be Sporty Spice
I would rather shower in chocolate than caramel
I don’t like hot dogs but I still eat them
I have never gone a week without showering that I know of
I think pregnant bellies are so cute
My favorite character in the bible is Moses
I sometimes stop at green lights because I forget they are not stop signs-woops
My birthday is four days after my brothers and 4 days before my dads
I have tried to type this three times now and every time it seems to get deleted. I don't think it is a coincidence that what I have to say is about our Savior. I believe that we are in a spiritual battle and mark my words, GOD WINS!!
A baby was born. He was born with nothing, but had everything! He had a purpose to give life even to those that took life from Him. THEY turned their backs on Him. WE turn our backs on Him. He gave life to us anyways; however, we deserved only one thing. Death! Why? We gave Him dirt and he gives us life? This is not right, this is not justice! They Beat Him, humiliated Him, and killed Him. Yet He heals us and touches us with love. His name being Jesus-"God Saves."
This Christmas Santa did not make a visit to our house. Instead someone else did, someone better, Someone Real! JESUS. There it is again the name Jesus. I can honestly say that this was the best Christmas I have ever had with my family. It was quiet, but it was filled with joy. We decided to not focus on gifts; rather on what we already had, Jesus! I am so blessed.
God blessed us with His son because He is a God who saves. He showed up. He knelt low. He is real and active and on the move all around us. He shows up in people like my aunt, a women who has little but now gives more than she is able. She showed me a glimpse of the poor widow written about in scripture.
Mark 12:41-44
"Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”
I had no words. It just brought tears to my eyes as she wrote out the check for 200 dollars. I know that she gave trusting that God is her provider. I am so thankful to her and to everyone who support me in prayer and financially because many have given so much. They remind me that money does not matter but Christ does. Seeing my aunt give that money was not really about the money or the fact that it would help support this crazy trip I am going on next year but it reminded me of the fact that God touched her heart this summer and made her new. She is now a child of the King and knows her inheritance is in heaven. She was not giving to me. She was giving to God. It's all His and I am really greatful to have spent this holiday remembering that Jesus was born.
MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!! HOPE YOUR CHRISTMAS REMINDED YOU AS IT DID ME THAT GOD SAVES!
Last night I was down on my knees fervently praying. Have you ever had one of those moments when it seemed as if the world around you was crashing in, and suddenly the only thing left to do was cry out? Normally when I have these moments I will run to the person next to me and ask them to fix me or make things better. Growing up the person next to me was my parents, in high school it was my young life leader, and in college it has been the person I am dating at the time. For once I didn't feel that there was anyone next to me, and in this moment something amazing happened. I got on my knees, and the only thing that could come out of my lips was thank you Jesus. I became ever aware that God is my refuge, my strength, and the person who above all desires me to run to him in times of need. I cried out to the Lord and He granted me peace. I think we need Christ like community but it is important for us to remember that God desires our hearts. The first line of the song How He Loves comes into mind every time I think of how the Lord desires us. It is these words that have echoed loud in my ears today " He is jealous for me!"
This year God has taken me on a wild ride. I have given up a relationship I help onto dearly. I have excepted that God has bigger plans for me than I have for myself. I have had to try and explain to my family, especially my dad why I feel called to do the World Race. I have embarked on the last year of college. I have seen poverty and brokenness both here in the states and abroad (In Guatemala). I have cried but also laughed in abundance. I have prayed many prayers and God has answered. God has granted me community here at school; a prayer I have prayed for four years. This list could could go on and on!
I am ashamed that it has taken me this long to turn my phone off, tune my heart to only ONE, and cry out in thanksgiving. God is so good always and in everything. I am praying today that I would never again take my eyes off the brilliance of God.
Do you love like a child or believe like a child? Here it is plain and simple in scripture, "Whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it all all." (Mark10:15) For a long time I had a hard time understanding this part of scripture because I thought it weird that we were suppose to actually think as a child thinks. This past weekend I got the awesome privilege to serve with a missions organization in the Appalachian region of Kentucky called Big Creek. We held a day camp for children on saturday and gave about 150 families food for their pantries; on sunday we attended local churches and then went into the community and loved on older adults and widows; on monday we served in many areas such as a clothing distribution site, doing construction on a local home and helping out at an adult care facility; lastly on tuesday we did cleaning at the mission site, more construction, and some of us got to go to the elementary school and help out with the children and do things for the teachers. In the time that I had there I thought a lot about what it means to receive the kingdom of God like a child:
First, children love like we are suppose to love. This weekend I fell in love with S. one of the local children. Five seconds after knowing me we became best friends. He grabbed my leg and just clung to it with a death grip. Then he demanded that I carry him on my back. I mean he was about 7, so way older than most kids you would carry around, but he melted my heart with just one smile. I could no longer resist. We ran around for what seemed like an hour or so. Can You image what it felt like for me to do this? Half the time I thought I would just buckle over not because he weighed a crazy amount but because after awhile any weight can become very hard to hold up. You might have kids or maybe you watch kids often and know what this experience is like. I think there are two things we learn from pictures like this: One is that God longs for us to love him with this death grip type of love. The type of love that says carry me because life is more fun on your back than when I am on my own two feet. Two, God loves to carry us no matter how heavy life seems to get. He holds on real tight. "I hold on to you for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post." (Psalm 63:8 in the message).
Second, children listen to every world that you say. This can be a good and a bad thing because sometimes adult's agendas do not have the little one's best at heart. I saw children who had little guidance in their life and therefor did as they pleased even at such a young age. Now don't get me wrong I know that most toddlers favorite word is no but the language that came out of some of the kid's mouths was way worse than, "NO!" They would tell you to shut your stupid mouth or I will kick you. It reminded me a lot of the movie Talladega Nights and how the little boys talked at the dinner table. I believe this was the result of children who watched and learned from others. I learned that God is jealous for our minds. He wants to teach us and out of His teaching he wants us live. Small children do just this they take things very literally and they are ready to be molded.
Third, they know that they are dependent on someone bigger than themselves to care for their needs. They can notlive on their own. It is always very sad to me when a child is abandoned on the streets because they are not meant to be independent. They need someone to care for them. I truly believe this is why God loves kids so much. He loves them because he loves the dependent. He longs for us to depend completely on himself. I will be the first to admit that this is one of the hardest things for me to accept. I daily have to say to God take my life today. If I don't I fail miserably because we are so dependent on Him. We were never created to be independent. God does grant us freedom to choose and that is why we serve an amazing God. Even though the choice is ours we need Him. I got the chance to hold a 3 month old little boy this weekend as well. He had a pretty rough life already. He was living with his grandmother and sister because his dad had a meth lab in their home. The grandmother knew that the child had a better chance if he came to stay with her instead. She was older in her years and had a hard time but she knew that sweet baby B. apart from her could not survive. He needed someone to feed him and change him and hold him while he falls asleep. This reminded me of what jesus said in John 15:5, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."
I am glad to have spent my last fall break in college remembering and getting pictures of these truths. God thought it was important for us to understand and because of this so do I. Maybe we should all spend more time with children. Even though they need us, sometimes we need them. I am in prayer that we would take these truths and live accordingly. Daily I need, to need him, above all else. I think God took me to Ky to remind me of this. It is easy to lose sight of Him and to place importance on worldly things- relationships, school, money, etc. PRAYING for you and me. Join me!!!
Tonight, over a dinner conversation I asked a new acquaintance of mine about her life. I recently heard this statement at a Young Life camp "We can not really talk about life without talking about Jesus because the two go hand in hand." Naturally my next question to my new friend was do you believe in the Lord. What I heard her say was this I might believe in HIm but I have questions that don't make since and lead me to not believe. At the top of the list was, "Why do bad things happen to good people? A great question if you ask me because I think at the center of all of us we ask this question. We have all been hurt. Recently I feel like pain and hurt have surrounded me. However, let me tell you a true story of a perfect someone who felt the most pain that anyone could ever feel yet something incredible came from such sorrow.
" They kept shouting, Crucify him! Crucify him! For the third time Pilate spoke to them: Why? What crime has this man committed? I have found him no grounds for the death penalty. Therefore I will have him punished and then release him. But with loud shouts they insistently demanded that he be crucified, and their shouts prevailed. So Pilate decided to grant their demand. He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, the one they asked for, and surrendered Jesus to their will.... Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals--one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing. And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Christ of God, the Chosen One. The soldiers came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar and said If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself. "
John includes a tad more detail: "Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged. The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head. They clothed him in a purple robe and went up to him again and again, saying Hail, King of the Jews! And they struck him in the face...."
Now I know that most if not all of you have heard this story at some point in your life. Here is the most amazing thing to me: This story would just be another story of bad things happening to a great person if it weren't for what came next!
"After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightening, and his clothes where white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men. The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said."
Out of this terrible, terrible act of humanity came the greatest gift ever. SALVATION. I think the reason why we all ask the same question my friend asked tonight is this: God wants us to see and understand the pain he felt when His son hung on the cross. Yet with this pain God had great joy because "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 God could not associate with us before Christ hung on that cross because such a holy God could not be near such horrible sin. Jesus was our intercessor. This is what I am really getting at with all of this: God can use bad things for His ultimate good and we see that when we look at the cross. Bad things are going to happen to good people. Even Jesus was not exempt from this. God knows how we feel and can sympathize with us.
This was just some food for thought I had for you all because it has been echoing in my head ever since my dinner conversation. Now here is the deal. You guys have the chance to help partner with me to tell others that the God of the universe knows exactly how we feel when we say, "They took away everything I own, I have no place to go, I have no one who loves me, my best friend left me in the time I really needed him, I was physically harmed and tormented and the list goes on and on." Jesus felt it all, yet by the cross everyone who has ever lived, is living, or ever will live has LIFE!!! Today would you considering supporting this ministry financially. I know I don't deserve the provisions that you have earned but it reminds me of something else I don't deserve nor will I ever deserve and that is the price our savior paid for you and me.
Tired and feeling beating down. Asking myself as I arise today, "Can you really do this, is this really what you were called too?" Then it came to me God is preparing me even now in my brokenness, in my doubt, and weariness. The past two weeks have been a testament to this. I don't know how many of you have had the privilege of watching the miracle of birth but I recently got the opportunity to watch a mother labor and a life come into this world. This was a process I was very much afraid of experiencing. When you think about babies you don't think about the details or the process in which they are delivered or at least it was something I never really thought twice about until OB this semester. My mom will tell you I called her and I had pretty much decided that children were out of the picture for me. I was terrified. How could something so sweet and innocent do what it must to take its first breath outside of utero? What came next was unexpected.
First the head, then the shoulder, until finally the baby was out. I was partially in shock of it all. As I saw the hair on this little ones head and its tiny hands and feet something inside of me was welling up. God was stirring! I finally understood Davids psalm, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, and I know that full well."
I fell in love with birth because it reminded me of something greater-the fathers heart. God knew this baby before it was born, before you could hear its heart beat at around 10 weeks conception, and even before that HE KNEW! He knows now who this child will become, what it will do or who it will be. Can we all just stop for a second and think about this... Seriously stop!
The thing is this is all of our stories. HE KNOWS! I am grinning ear to ear right now thinking about this. The God of the universe, of all creation knows! Scripture tells us, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." (Jer. 1:5) The amazing thing to me is not just that he knows us, but he knows every detail of who we are. "Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered." (Luke 12:7). Beyond knowing us to the core there is something that almost always brings me to tears when I truly think about it and that is that God still loves us after knowing us.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
When I think of the Fathers love I think of the picture of the first time father I met this week. He loved his child so much. He was so proud and could not take his eyes of his sweet baby. This baby had to do nothing. It did not have to win at any sporting event, or get the best grades in its class, or have the best job out there. It just had to be. The father loved it because the child belonged to him. God loves us. He holds us in his arms and whispers, "Nothing can seperate us."
I hope He reminds you as He has reminded me of this picture. This is the picture I get the opportunity to share with people all over the world. The picture of a Father who loves His children, who loves each child like it is the only one. I am so excited to be apart of this unique group. As I question decisions that I make the Lord always confirms them by reminding me of little things about himself. Will you join with me in prayer that God would begin to move even now in the hearts of the people my team and I will come encounter with next year in Bulgaria, Romania, Rwanda, Uganda, kenya, Thailand, Malaysia, Cambodia, Nicaragua, Honduras, and Guatemala. Also as you pray if your heart is being moved to be apart of this, which I so hope it is, would you consider partnering with me finacially.
